Today is day two in our Christmas Anthology week!! Today we have Tina Susedik and her Christmas story Operation Santa, it’s laugh out loud funny!
When David Hofer’s wife gets fed up with his lack of attention, he and his brother concoct a list of things to win her back. They call it “Operation Santa.” Can David survive the problems this creates?
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Excerpt:
David’s hand hovered over the last package. Long and thin, it contained items from Marci’s book. Resting on top of everything was a pair of pink, fuzzy handcuffs. He tore the plastic off and placed them on the bed next to the book he’d left on the covers last night.
One of the bottles of massage oil smelled of vanilla, the other something exotic and spicy he couldn’t identify. Shots of desire swept through him. A candle in the same scent made his head swim.
“Wow. What the hell do they put in this stuff?” He reached down and gave Bubbles another neck scratch. “Do ‘ya think she’ll like this?”
The cat perked up when he pulled out a pink feather tickler. She jumped on the bed.
“No, you don’t,” David said, setting her on the floor. David set the tickler back in the box.
A leather flogger, nipple clamps, mask, and edible underwear lay on the bottom. Then something caught his eye.
“What the hell? I didn’t order this.” He picked up the invoice.
Please accept this holiday gift with our compliments.
He tore open the plastic bag. Two men’s thongs stared up at him, one a reindeer with a strategically placed red nose. The other was a snowman with a carrot nose, obviously designed to hold a man’s johnson.
David eyed the items before him. Should he? He hesitated. Why the hell not? No one could see him.
He removed his tighty-whities and slipped on the snowman thong. He wasn’t too sure how he liked the strip of fabric running up his crack, but he had to admit the sight of his johnson stuffed in the carrot was pretty funny. He hoped Marci would think so.
He took the chaps, put the waistband around his hips, and snapped it in place. He tied the strips of leather on the leggings behind his thighs and calves.
“Not bad,” he said, eyeing himself in the dresser mirror. He raised his arms and flexed his muscles. Pumping iron was paying off. He sucked in his gut. Not a six pack, but no flab, either. He swiveled his hips to beat of the song on the radio, then turned sideways for a glimpse of his bare ass. Nope, no droop.
In the mirror’s reflection, he saw the handcuffs. He wondered how the soft, fuzzy feathers would feel on Marci’s wrists.
After reading the instructions, David set the keys on the dresser, checked the quick release on both cuffs, attached one to a metal bar of the headboard and the other to his wrist. He imagined Marci’s arms stretched above her head, writhing in passion as he ran the tickler up and down her naked body. With the blindfold in place, she wouldn’t know what he’d do next.
His cell phone buzzed, interrupting his dreams. He reached for the phone, but with his right hand cuffed, he couldn’t quite grasp it.
“Ah, the quick release.” With his left hand David pressed the clasp on the cuff attached to his wrist. Nothing. “Dammit!” He tried the one hooked to the bed. No click. No snap.
“The keys,” he said, turning to the dresser. A clinking noise stopped him.
“Bubbles, stop.” he yelled as the cat batted at the jingling keys. “Here, Bubbles. Here, pretty kitty.” The keys dropped to the floor.
Stretching his leg and big toe, he nearly reached them. The flogger would help, but before he could use it, Bubbles picked the keys up in her teeth. With her head and tail held high like a queen, she trotted from the room.
“Come back here! Dammit, get your furry ass back here.” He stomped his foot.
David squeezed his eyes until tears formed. Thoughts of starving to death when no one came to his rescue flashed through his mind. He’d be nothing but bones attached to pink, fuzzy handcuffs. What could be more embarrassing?
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Tina has been married for over forty years and lives in Wisconsin. After careers in accounting and teaching (not necessarily at the same time), she found her career in writing is what fulfills her the most. Besides Romance, she writes children, military, and history books. When not writing, she loves camping, hiking, photography, reading and playing with her five grandchildren.She is a member of Romance Writers of America and Wisconsin Romance Writers of America.
She can be found on Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, Soul Mate Publishing, and The Romantic Times websites.
Angela Scavone - Author 